Sunday, 2 October 2016

The Storm Within : My interpretation of my chaotic mind.

The TV's on, the lights of off. I can hear the patter of my dogs feet against the wooden floor, but I'm calm. Only for a second. My mind becomes frantic. Whens the bill due? Have I worked out enough today? Why did the girl on the street stare at me? Is it because I'm ugly, fat, disgusting, worthless, horrid. Stop. Breathe. Then repeat the whole thing again. Countless times again and again. Until the mask covering my face becomes tarnished. You can see it ever so slightly in the snappy remarks and frustrating sighs. It builds up. Just like a builder building a wall, brick by brick. But the foundations sink and the wall breaks.And my mind is a hurricane. Tap, tap, tap of my brothers fork on his plate. BANG I resemble a monster. The hurricane is pouring from my eyes. The battle scars on my arms become more noticeable now, appealing you could say. The monster bleeds. The monster is a monster no more. Just a broken girl crying on her bedroom floor with her best friend the razor blade. The TV's on, the lights are off. But I'm calm.

Amy Charlesworth.

Thursday, 29 September 2016

A letter to myself, for bad mental health day.

Dear Amy,

Oh sweetie, I'm guessing your having a pretty rubbish day. I know your riddled with 'Why me?' and self destructing thoughts but hold in there. Life wont always feel this empty. They will be days your little face shines brightly and in the future your going to have your own family and your own little version of paradise but for now this is your life and you will get over the temporary pain your feeling.

The universe only gives you what you can handle so these feelings you feel and these illnesses your dealing with you must remember your strong enough to overcome them. They don't define you, they are only here for the ride. They may stay a little longer than you wish, and you may hate them to death. But girl your coming out the other end stronger, more determined and with a shift in your mind, and that Amy changes everything.

I know you Amy, your reading this think, 'Yeah right' but they will be a time your happy. It may not be tomorrow or the day after or even next month. But one day your going to wake up and you wont feel the crippling emptiness. They'll be a time you can go out in crowded public places without your anxious mind playing havoc. You'll be able to look at yourself see your faults and not care. I know your wishing that this day could come sooner. I know right now you would swap the world just to feel normal for even a day. But Amy what even is normal? I'll leave you that to think about.

I wish you could see how wonderful you are, how caring and compassionate your are. I wish you could see how worthy of life you are. Make me a promise amy. Live. Live and love as hard as you can. Don't let anybody hold you back. Them dreams of yours reach for them, and don't let anybody get it your sweet way. Because you Amy are worth more than you think.

Look after yourself, and stay safe. Today is just another day after all.

Lots of love, Amy

P.S go give Millie and Nugget a cuddle you know they love you.

Saturday, 24 September 2016

How to practice self care for anxiety.

Why me? That's the question I ask myself alot. Why can't I attend social events without becoming a big ball of panic. Why do I have to over think every possible situation and every possible outcome. The answer is always the same, who knows. But that don't make me weird, or different. It just means I struggle a little ( well alot but hey ho)  Excuse my french here but anxiety is a b*tch. It consumes you, and if like me you suffer with some form of anxiety this post may help.  So here are my top 5 ways to practice self care for anxiety.

1. Distract yourself 
Anxiety really isn't a pleasant feeling. When you feel these feelings forming trying to notice them, then distract yourself. Read book, listen to some music, look a painting really look at it. Just do something that moves your focus onto something else. When I'm feeling particularity anxious I play a wee game with myself. I try to pick 3 things I can see, smell, taste and feel. It really helps ground me and reassure me that I'm the one in control not my anxiety. 

2. Talk to someone you trust
Talking to someone you trust whether it be a family member or friend can be a huge anxiety reliever. Just having someone there to reassure you, and listen can help hugely. My nan's a great listner and will listen to me babble on for hours and just knowing I have her there through the good and bad times is great. 

3. Stay active & Eat well 
Something simple as regular exercise and a healthly diet will hugely contribute towards better mental health. It may just be a 10 minute walk in the park on your lunch break, or a 2 hour session at your local gym. Physical activity can distract you and also relive the stresses of everyday life. For me going to the gym is really lifts my mood and settles my anxiety, it also gets me out of the house and allows me to have a little fun. ( I reallllly love to run) I also like to avoid stimulants such a coffee and alcohol, whilst adding plenty of plant based nutrient rich foods that are full of a essential vitamins for a healthy brain. 

4. Personal care
When your dealing with anxiety its really easy to neglect yourself. Things as simple as taking a shower or brushing your hair can feel like a chore. Making sure to look after yourself and having a set routine will help you feel and look great, and in turn boosting your mood. In a morning when my mind is racing something that keeps me grounded is focusing on my skincare routine. Just taking the time to look after myself seems to calm me oh and make my skin look great!

5. Meditate 
Something that has really helped my anxiety is meditation. Taking 30 minutes a night to just sit a breathe and focus on you, can feel extremely fulfilling. It's also been proven by physiologists to help cure depression and anxiety and the chances of relapsing. I really recommend you read the book ' Mindfulness a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world' By Mark Williams and Danny Penman. Its such a great book and has an 8 week mindfulness course in to help you combat your anxiety. 
So there we have it my top 5 self care tips, I really hope these help you. 

'Taking good care of YOU means the people in your life will receive the best of you not whats left of you' 
 Carl Bryan

Untill next time, Lots of love and stay safe.

Amy x

Friday, 23 September 2016

Medication and mental health. My opinion.

So I'm writing this from my bedroom on a warm September afternoon, because today I was to depressed to leave my house. But you know what, thats ok. Because what I did do today was manage to clean the house, do some laundry and even brush my hair, so that's an achievement in itself.  Its on days like today that I wish on was on medication. Although I have tried plenty of  anti depressants which didn't work and gave me alot of unpleasant side effects. That and they made my already erratic mood swings even hard to handle. It was just a big no. Although I will be going onto medication my doctors are very hesitant to try me on any other medications till I've seen the psychiatrist. So I guess I've just got to hang on in there.

But if like me you struggle with mental health, and you do feel like medication would help you. I do recommend you go discuss it with your doctor. I do want to remind you in no way shape or form am I telling you what to do, I'm merely sharing my advice, so always consult everything with a professional. But medication may help you. The doctor will be able to recommend you which type of medication would suit your current needs. That and he/she will be able to talk through the possible side effects that you my endure whilst taking it.

Whilst you take medication you need to understand that taking meds aren't a quick fix. Most anti-depressant medication will take 4+ weeks to show visible effects, and within this time you need to be trying to understand why you are feeling the way you do. This may be by trying a type of talking therapy, or just trying to understand your triggers.

My overall opinion on medication for mental health is that if you feel you will benefit from them then go for it. Who am I or anybody else for that matter to judge you. Only you know what will work for you.

' A positive attitude is contagious. But don't wait to catch it from somebody else, be a carrier.' 
Untill next time. Lots of love and Stay Safe. 
Amy x

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Welcome to Road To Recovery

Hi everyone, I'm Amy  a 20 year old woman from the East Midlands. I thought I'd welcome you to my little wonder on the web. One night whilst lying in bed I had a genius idea to start a Mental Health blog. I have always been so passionate about Mental health. I too suffer with a concoction of mental illness's but I'll save that for another blog post. ( My mental health story coming soon, cheeky post promo there )

This blog will be filled with everything mental health related. My own personal stories, guest posts from lovely people who openly share there own stories with certain mental illness's. Tips and tricks that may help you on your own journey to overcoming or managing your mental illness. It was also include a page on websites, books and other bloggers posts which you may find useful.

I really hope this blog will be a helpful to those who are suffering and to show people they are not alone and that getting help isn't admitting defeat, its actually an admirable step in the right direction.

'Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. 
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.' 
W.H Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, 1951

Have a lovely week, and Stay safe. 

Lots of love Amy x

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